mother love

sing your heart out

reaching out
i find myself doubting
afraid
worried
judgemental
of myself
and for myself

sing out loud

i want to
i need to
believe it
hunger for it

work for it

i can do it

red onion love

journeywoman

traversing
internal pathways
there are blockages
unremembered
but no less powerful than those that are clearly visible
in memory

i'm seeking
some peace
and some freedom
revitalisation as well

these times
not the best not the worst
these are the key finding years

let the light shine on dark hidden
habits
self destructive, self sabotaging,

forged in an internal blast furnace
of pain and fear
the child who needed to grow old
and be strong
before her next birthday

to cope with all things without flinching

locking the fear away in the musculature
in the kidneys
the liver, the lungs...

locking the heart against the chance
of pain

sadly this inhibited spontaneity and joy

to understand
is not
to be

but all mountains
are climbed in the same slow way

clickety clack clickety clack....

liquid light

newly washed in white light
i venture into the grey murky shadows
they cling to me
and i attract the dark patches
they stick to my skin and
make me itch

sucked from the clutches of contentment
split from grace
dripped like hot wax onto my record are the
pains and sorrows
burnt into my flesh

i'm reaching towards the light
my hand is a silhouette
beyond it are the things to come

the taste of
perfect pitch

drink 
liquid light