hope shine

sleep in a black patch
make the hardness
soft
and sing the worst songs
in the best voice
and
tell me another one
i could use a laugh

creation

if it were possible to reinvent one thing
would i reinvent myself
or would i reinvent the world

pixels have feelings too

eyes staring into pixels
pixels boring into eyes
changing my perspective

mind models itself to fit those
bright shiny people in there
in that world of colour and compressed audio
they're made entirely of pixels
pixels that are
chasing other attractively arranged pixels

theyre going to make little people
made entirely of pixels

we can become virtual copies of our insides
our outsides can become reinvented
to match

(insert sound effect here)

invention of no

im looking for me
im here
but im lost
in rhymes
and nonsense

trapped
in the sad lost hopes
of my mothers mothers mother

im looking for real
life
not this pretend one
the one that's painted
on

freed
from the convictions
of times gone by

im just tickling
the surface
peeling away old paint
and clutter

shot through with hope
striving for 100% coverage
and the end of that
pain, that painful pain, the one
that says
no you cant
youre not good enough
youre a fake
youre not clever enough
youre not talented
you didnt get a degree
youre fat
youre shaped all wrong
youre boring
youre old
the one who knows
they're all laughing behind their hand

the one that knows
they're all totally aware of my inadequacies
even more than i am

that pain is a real pain
but it's not real
it's made up.

busted

wiping away the sweat, hot tears clean my eyes,
hands black with energy
caught in readiness

running to nowhere
and reaching safety
only to lose footing

falling into a liquid that swallows
everything for miles

and exhales
every feeling you ever had
transmuted to air

now i'm light as air
im like a balloon
blown up to maximum

will i burst

onlooker

first memory is yellow
it's light and full of air
followed by some heavier darker
place
rooms without light
filled with anger and fear
and bathed in incomprehension

of me
the onlooker

looking
not knowing
just taking it in

thinking
normal

began to keep the circle closed
dont invite trouble

live without visitors

be the sun
you don't need anyone's help
to shine

Faraway wind calls my name

It's night
And dark
And cold

But it's warm in here
But it's
Quiet

Just the tick tick tock

Faraway and close i hear
Wind sound fx

A long repressed and maligned
Pain
Calls my name

I hear it

It's scared
Telling me
What are ya doing?
Or is it asking me

But it feels like telling
Warning

Worry
And live not
And
Love me not
On a white white cloudy day

Chip chip chip
Away
To the heart
A
Way
To
The
Heart