solute

now if i was angry

i'd have to shout

i s'pose

and flail about with words

but irritation is the poor

cousin

and thats the one that i spend time with

making myself feel small

fuck the imbalance of things

and the frustration of finding myself at the same door

again and again

gone down the same pathways to get there

every little trick to feel that this time its different

but the rhythm is predetermined

asking myself have i got the guts to break the pattern

can i be a guiding light for my kids

showing them the way to authenticity

hard to know when i don't feel as though i have control

i have taken over the wheel

i am the driver

i have control

i am the solution

i attract abundance and light

just another day

drink and breathe

in the dark clouds

snort them in huge chunks

cough up pools of green

that will send suckers on thin strands

up walls

split open a vein

and bleed into the moment

of hope

trying not to be

in a world of wild conformitee.