journeywoman

traversing
internal pathways
there are blockages
unremembered
but no less powerful than those that are clearly visible
in memory

i'm seeking
some peace
and some freedom
revitalisation as well

these times
not the best not the worst
these are the key finding years

let the light shine on dark hidden
habits
self destructive, self sabotaging,

forged in an internal blast furnace
of pain and fear
the child who needed to grow old
and be strong
before her next birthday

to cope with all things without flinching

locking the fear away in the musculature
in the kidneys
the liver, the lungs...

locking the heart against the chance
of pain

sadly this inhibited spontaneity and joy

to understand
is not
to be

but all mountains
are climbed in the same slow way

clickety clack clickety clack....